My first STD was from a foam party
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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