It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my sisters under your porch take her home
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
