how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
