If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
