So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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