Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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