SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
