Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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