I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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