Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
