Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
