After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
