Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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