Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
