I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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