I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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