i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
well, you know. whores of a feather.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
