okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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