Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
