? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
