my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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