Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
