just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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