imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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