she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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