he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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