He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
