have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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