another moral hangover. fuck.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
