you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
