I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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