Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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