oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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