my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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