Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
