it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
