Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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