love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
