Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
