Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
