turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
