I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
