I didn't shave. On purpose
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
