It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
