we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
