I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
