Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
