So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
