it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Mom said you looked used
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
