I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
