I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she told me i tasted like america
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
