So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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