Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
