Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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